How Resilience supports behaviour change

What’s your vice? Do you eat too much chocolate, chew your fingernails, or can’t resist a midnight ice-cream snack? Maybe you have a serious chocolate Hob-Nob habit. Whatever it is, chances are you may have tried to change this behaviour, and found it very difficult. But why is change so difficult, even when we really want it? It’s because trying to break habitual behaviour causes inner conflict in our brains. We are literally having an argument with ourselves! This can be explained by CEOS Theory.

CEOS Theory

CEOS stands for Context, Executive and Operational Systems. It explains how two parts of our brain - the Executive System (conscious thought) and the Operational System (subconscious) work. When we stick to old familiar habits that have become automatic, for example lighting up a cigarette, (or micro-managing and telling people what to do!) these two systems are in collaboration. However, when we are trying to stop a bad habit, or begin a new healthy habit, such as an exercise regime, (or empowering and coaching your people!) these two brain systems fight with each other. The conscious, Executive System wants to get on with the new behaviour, while the subconscious, Operational System clings to the old familiar habits like a toddler to a comfort blanket.

Where’s my blanket?!

Overriding these systems takes a lot of effort - and resilience!

Here is a link to a previous blog about building Resilience.

We have to suppress the old ‘bad’ behaviour, while also acquiring new more positive habits. This can become much easier if we prepare beforehand, using visualisation techniques to really drill down to the end goal, and imagine what the benefits of achieving it will be.

Humans are hardwired to avoid the things we feel negative about, and focus on doing things that we feel positive about. This means the more positively we can frame the new behaviour in our minds, and visualise the goal, and benefits of achieving it, the more likely we are to stick to the new behaviour.

As the American psychologist and philosopher, William James put it; “Human beings, by changing the inner attitudes of their minds, can change the outer aspects of their lives.”

It’s therefore a great exercise to clarify why we need or want to change in as much detail as we can. What will it feel like? What are the benefits to the new behaviour? What will people do and say to us as a result? How will it make us feel? The more clearly we can visualise the end goal, the more we will want to achieve it, and the more we will focus on the positive behaviour rather than the negative habit.

Conversely, those who focus on the negative behaviour they are trying to break are more likely to continue bad habits. This clear visualisation of the ultimate goal will help us to become more resilient in our journey to achieve it. Building resilience can help us overcome the ‘internal tug o’war’ going on between the Executive and Operational systems of our brain.

Focusng on what you don’t want or the old behaviour can lead to a dip in the mud!!

Write it down

Writing down the end goal is also proven to be highly effective. In fact, a Harvard MBA study demonstrated that people are 80% more likely to stick to a goal if they write it down. Perhaps the pen really is mightier than the sword then when it comes to beating bad habits.

Enlisting the support of others can also be hugely beneficial. When we tell others what we intend to do, verbalising it helps cement the goal in our own mind. The friends, family members and colleagues we share our goals with can both hold us accountable and also become our cheerleaders, supporting us to keep going, and picking us up if we lapse too.

Who are your cheerleaders? Who’s in your support group? Who’s got your back and enabling your behaviour change?

If you are interested in using coaching to break bad leadership habits and nurture more positive behaviours, why not get in touch?