How to Build a Resilient Attitude

In my previous blog, I introduced the concept of a ‘resilient attitude.’

As a quick reminder, this is an active process that’s not about denying setbacks or challenges – but instead involves using available resources, strengths, and skills to work through the situation.

There’s no doubt about the importance of being able to respond to these challenges in a positive and effective way – and emerge re-energised, re-motivated, and ready and able to face the future.

Now, I want to give you some advice and support about how you can set about achieving a resilient attitude.

Here are my top tips:

[1] Find a sense of purpose

This will help you find meaning in life's challenges. Instead of being discouraged by your problems, with a defined purpose you'll become motivated to learn from past experiences and move on.

[2] Believe in your abilities

Believing in your own ability to cope with the stresses of life plays an important part in resilience. If you become more confident in your own abilities, including your ability to respond to and deal with a crisis, you’ll build future resilience.

Whenever you hear negative comments in your head, immediately replace them with positive ones by reminding yourself of your strengths and accomplishments. Indeed, research has demonstrated that self-esteem plays an important role in coping with stress and recovering from difficult events.

[3] Develop a Strong Social Network

Ensure you surround yourself with people you can confide in.

Caring and supportive people act as a protective factor during times of crisis – allowing you to share feelings, get support, receive positive feedback, and help solve your problems.

[4] Embrace Change

Flexibility is an essential part of resilience.

If you learn how to be more adaptable, you'll be better equipped to respond when faced with a life crisis. Resilient people often optimise these events as an opportunity to branch out in new directions.

[5] Be Optimistic

Whilst it might be difficult to stay optimistic during dark periods, maintaining a hopeful outlook is an important part of resiliency. What you’re dealing with may be difficult, but it's important to remain hopeful and positive about a brighter future.

[6] Nurture Yourself

Losing your appetite, ignoring exercise, and not getting enough sleep are all common reactions to a crisis. Instead, focus on building your self-nurturance skills even when you're troubled, making time for activities you enjoy.

How do you nurture yourself? Photo Robert Lukeman Unsplash

[7] Develop Problem-Solving Skills

Research suggests that people who find solutions to problems tend to cope more productively with stress compared to those who don’t. When you encounter a new challenge, make a quick list of some of the potential ways you could solve it.

Experiment with different strategies and focus on developing a logical way to work through common problems. If you regularly practice your problem-solving skills, then you’ll be better prepared to cope when faced with serious challenges.

[8] Establish Goals

When you find yourself becoming overwhelmed by a situation, take a step back to simply assess what’s before you. Brainstorm possible solutions, and then break them down into manageable steps.

[9] Take Action

Simply waiting for a problem to go away on its own only prolongs the crisis. Instead of waiting for a problem to disappear, start working on resolving the issue immediately. While there might not be a fast or simple solution, you can take steps toward making your situation better and less stressful.

Focus on the progress you make and plan your next steps, rather than becoming discouraged by the amount of work you still need to accomplish.

[10] Keep Working on Your Skills

Resilience can take time to build, so don't get discouraged if you still struggle to cope with problematic events.

Everyone can learn to be resilient, and it doesn't involve any specific set of behaviours or actions. Resilience can vary dramatically from one person to the next.

Focus on practicing these skills, as well as the common characteristics of resilient people, but also remember to build on your existing strengths.

Look out for the next two blogs in this series – “Why is a resilient attitude important,” and “What are the benefits of a resilient attitude.”

If you need further information about this approach, or any other resilience topic, please contact russell@theresiliencecoach.co.uk.